Some People Hold On
by In A Rush
Summary: This takes place after Season 6 shooting. As i am in Aus, i havent seen Season 7 yet apart from sneak peeks, so this is based just after Lexie's breakdown.  Read for more, still deciding whether to leave it as a oneshot or add more chapters


"Lexie, can we please just talk and be civil to each other?" Alex asks her as he follows her into the house and following her into the kitchen.

"And why do you want to talk to me all of a sudden, you haven't felt a need to since we broke up, I mean honestly you walk around acting all macho because you had a bullet stuck in your chest and you were proud of the fact that chicks dig it, it's pathetic, and then you want to be all nice to me, after you left me on my own to have my breakdown and scare the crap out of a patient, because you had enough crazy in your life, how do you think all that crap makes me feel, you just expect me to forgive you, I saved your life with my ex's help, I almost got my head blown off because I went to get blood for you…" Lexie starts yelling at him the tears rolling down her face.

"Wait, you never told me you almost got shot by Clark getting blood for me, why didn't you tell me?" He asks angrily.

"Because I told no one, you got shot, Charles died in Bailey's arms, Bailey had the gun pointed at her and she had to pretend to be a nurse, Meredith had a gun pointed at her while Derek was being operated on by Cristina who had the gun held at her head while she kept operating on Derek, Owen got shot, Reed got shot and died, Webber came face to face with Clark and saw him shoot himself, Callie and Arizona had to protect a child from him and Callie had to provide him dressings for his leg wound he got from when SWAT shot him in the leg so I could get away, nurses died, doctors died, security died, it just seemed irrelevant okay, it didn't seem like a big deal at the time." She said sliding down the wall and hugging her knees to her chest.

"But it isn't irrelevant Lexie, we want to know this, you go on about how it was a mass murder and all these statistics but you never told us anything about what happened to you, I want to know." Alex says squatting down in front of her and staring into her eyes.

"I didn't want people feeling sorry for me, thinking poor Lexie, I mean look at what happened after my breakdown, everyone walks around eggshells around me, he told me all the deaths were unnecessary, that all he came to the hospital for was for Derek, Webber and Me, and it's my fault and there is nothing I can do about it, I have the flashes of it going through my head, all I could think about is how I was going to die, he was going to shoot me and I was going to die without getting the blood to you, I was going to die all alone." She says looking down at her knees.

Kneeling in front of her, he slides himself so he his right against the front of her knees and lifted her chin up to look at him.

"I promise I will never, ever leave you alone again, I was scared ago, I don't deal well with crazy, you weren't crazy, you were sleep deprived and I get that now, but all I could think about when you freaked out in the pit was how I found Ava in her blood from slitting her wrists, I didn't want to go through that again, I didn't think I could deal with it again, but I realised I can deal with it, what I can't deal with is not having you in my life, and I know it is going to take us a while till any of us recover properly and get back to how we used to be, but I am hoping you give me a second chance to be in your life." He says.

Taken away by what he has said, Lexie is in shock, she sits there for a minute to let it all process through her mind before speaking.

"Okay, I forgive you, let's start again." She says with a hint of a slight smile that he hasn't seen on her face since before the shooting.

"I like the sound of that, god I missed you Lex." Alex says sitting next to her and pulling her into his side, intertwining his free hand with hers while the other one is around her back, taking in her scent.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch to you lately." She says resting her head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for being such a jackass to you lately, but we are all going through a difficult time at the moment." He says.

They sit there in a comfortable silence just holding onto each other tightly glad to have each other there for support knowing they still face difficult times ahead. Then they are both jolted back to reality when they hear the front door slam shut making Lexie grab hold of Alex tighter.

"Shhh, it's just Mere and Derek." Alex says rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"Oh hey guys, what are you doing on the floor?" Meredith asks as Derek gets a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Just talking and just enjoying being able to hold my girlfriend again." Alex says and Lexie smiles at that and gives him a peck on the cheek before getting up off the floor.

"That's great to hear guys, I'm so relieved that you have sorted out your differences and are being open with each other." Meredith says

"Well if we can learn anything from the shooting is that life is too short and we can't live in the past, sometimes we have to learn to let go and move on." Lexie says pulling Alex up off of the floor.

"Seems like you're on the road to recovery." Derek says smiling glad to see his sister in law looking happier and sounding a little bit more like herself.

"Yeah I guess I am, I finally opened up to Alex about what happened to me during the shooting, I got a long way to go but I will get there, I'm heading to bed, I'm a bit tired, you coming Alex?" Lexie asks.

"Yeah, I will be up in a minute, I just need a glass of water, just head into my room." He says giving her a quick kiss and watching her walk up the stairs before turning to see Meredith's enquiring stare.

Choosing not to say anything straight away, Alex fills up a glass with water and starts drinking out of it watching Meredith starting to glare at him. Finishing his glass he washes it and turns around.

"Well, what did she go through during the shooting that we don't know about?" Meredith asks.

"When she got the blood for me, she ran into Clark, he pointed the gun at her head and told her all the shooting was unnecessary, that he only came for three people, the three that were responsible for turning off his wife's life support, Lexie was the one that turned it off so he held her as the most accountable for it, but SWAT were able to shoot him in the leg so Lexie could quickly run away, she thought she was going to die and I am pretty sure she feels responsible for the deaths and injuries, she feels bad for me getting shot." Alex says.

"God and she didn't think to tell us, no wonder she has been in the state she's in, if she had have told us, she wouldn't have needed to go to psych." Meredith says feeling bad that her sister didn't feel like she could talk to her about it.

"She felt like it was irrelevant compared to all the other stuff that happened to everyone else and all the deaths and injuries caused, and talking about it wouldn't have stopped her from needing to go to psych, she was sleep deprived, she had to sleep, and she slept for over 50 hours straight." Alex says.

"His right Mere." Derek says.

"I need to speak to her." Meredith said.

"Leave it till tomorrow, she needs sleep and it's been a long day on top of a long couple of weeks, I will see you in the morning." He says before walking out.

Standing behind Meredith and wrapping his arms around her waist, he rests his chin on her shoulder and says " don't worry too much, she has Alex, and even though he did leave her, I think he will be sticking around now, he will look after her and help her but she does need her sleep." Derek says.

"Yeah I guess so, let's go to bed." Meredith says before walking out of the kitchen.

…...

Walking into his room he sees Lexie standing at his window gazing out of it while wearing one of his shirts exposing most of her legs.

Getting undressed down to his boxers, he stands behind her and wraps his arm around her waist and pulls him into her.

"Let's get into bed." He says dragging her with him.

Gently placing her onto his bed, he pulls the covers over her and hops in underneath pulling her into him.

Resting her head onto his chest she lets out a sigh of contentment.

"Shhh, go to sleep, I will be right here with you the whole time and when you wake up." He says kissing the top of her head and starts to drag his finger across her forehead.

And with that Lexie feels the past couple of days of sleep deprivation catch up with her and she starts to relax in his arms with his touch. Feeling the safest she has in a while she lets sleep overcome her and closes her eyes.

Knowing she has finally fallen asleep, Alex lies there and watches her sleep, taking in her peaceful form and thinking about how much she has been through and what he needs to do to help her.


End file.
